France is what got me into food and food is what brought me back to France.
I always seem to turn to the sanctuary that is my kitchen when I am feeling off. There is something about taking the time to create a dish, whether it is sweet or savory, that comforts me more than anything else. Well, I can think of a few other things that are just as comforting, but that’s for another day.
When I am in the kitchen creating, it is always a labor of love. I take my time to pay attention to all the ingredients I am working with; see their needs and attend to them in the most intimate way. There is something soothing and relaxing about creating, shaping, and forming. Especially when there is an intention in mind. I feel at ease.
So here it is, almost halfway through 2019 and I am in Paris, no visa (yet), looking for a job (still). I quit my full-time job and decided this was the time, this was the moment. This was probably one of the hardest things I’ve done, but I knew that if I did not follow my heart I would regret it later in life.
The start of this journey, as a whole, has been refreshing and invigorating yet frustrating at the same time. I must be honest, I went into the beginning of this with a glass half empty mentality. Because let’s be real, dealing with French bureaucracy isn’t an easy walk in the park! I guess if it were easy things would be a lot different. I saw my fair share of job interviews that I thought went well, but in the end, I got more rejections than I expected.
Now, as my time nears the end of this stay, I’m trying to figure out what my next step is, which is the right one for me, for us? I have spent hours upon hours researching my various routes. And I can never find the exact answer I am looking for; always taken back to square one. There are still so many unknowns, it is starting to scare me. What if I can’t find a way back to Paris? I can hear some of you sighing right now, possibly rolling your eyes. I’ve had this passion for years, I am bound to end up living here. But at what cost? To me, to my loved ones? And there are a million more questions running through my head.
But I know that no matter what happens, I will get there. And I struggle still, sitting here as I try to finish this post. I look forward to the challenges that will soon be coming my way. I know that this will be a true test of patience and understanding. And the one thing that will always be a constant is that I will always having the kitchen to turn to when I need to work through anything.
There’s a saying that says “home is where the heart is,” but I think it is actually “home is where the kitchen is” because, in the kitchen there is warmth, goodness, comfort and safety. In the kitchen you will always find something that speaks to your soul as well as your stomach, and that, is just fine by me!